Couples Coaching & Relationship Agreements

You love each other. You're both trying. And yet somehow, you keep ending up in the same painful place.

Maybe it's about parenting decisions, money, or how much time you spend together. Maybe it's about who does what, who initiates sex, or whose career gets priority right now. The content changes, but the pattern feels the same: one of you reaches for connection and the other pulls back. One of you wants to talk it through and the other shuts down. One of you feels controlled and the other feels abandoned.

So you try harder. You read the books. You promise to do better. You have the "big conversation" where you both finally say what you really feel—and for a few days or weeks, things improve. Until they don't.

And here's what makes it so exhausting: you both think the other person is the problem.

If they would just listen better, be more present, stop being so defensive, initiate more, need less, give more space, make more time... then you could finally get it right.

But here's the truth most couples don't see until they're years into this pattern:

You're not failing because someone isn't trying hard enough. You're failing because you're trying to build a conscious partnership without a shared agreement about how to do it.

The fights aren't really about the dishes or the money or who said what at dinner.

They're about unspoken expectations that were never made explicit.
They're about operating from different rulebooks you didn't know you were using.
They're about the mismatch between what you think partnership should look like and what your partner thinks it should look like.

You're working hard—just not together.

And every time you try to "fix" things by simply trying harder at the same approach, you actually make it worse. You double down on your own perspective. You build a case for why you're right. You start keeping score. You withdraw to protect yourself or push harder to be heard.

The resentment builds. The safety erodes. And the distance between you grows—even when you're in the same room.

At The Art of We, we don't believe relationships fail because of lack of love.

They fail because of lack of agreements. Not rules. Not compromises where someone always loses.

Agreements—the explicit, co-created clarity about how you're going to do this life together.

Here's what most couples don't realize:
every relationship is already operating on agreements. You just haven't made them conscious yet.

You have invisible agreements about:

Who's responsible for emotional labor
How conflict gets handled (or avoided)
What gets prioritized when time is scarce
How decisions get made
What monogamy means
How you repair after disconnection
Whether it's safe to be fully yourself

When these agreements stay invisible, you end up in constant friction. You're each operating from different assumptions, getting hurt when the other person violates rules they didn't know existed, and feeling blamed for not meeting expectations you never agreed to.

Relationship Agreements make the invisible visible.

They transform your partnership from a place where you're managing each other's feelings and walking on eggshells into a place where you're genuinely leading together—toward a shared vision of what you're building.

When Will and I created our 24 relationship agreements—which became our wedding vows and now form the foundation of our teaching—we weren't just trying to have a better relationship.

We were designing a leadership system.

Because your partnership isn't separate from the rest of your life. It's the training ground for everything.

The way you navigate power with your partner teaches you how to navigate power at work.
The way you handle conflict at home shapes how you handle conflict everywhere.
The capacity you build for staying centered while deeply connected? That's the capacity that makes you an effective leader, parent, friend, and change-maker.

When your relationship operates on explicit agreements instead of invisible expectations, you free up an enormous amount of energy. Energy that was going into tension, interpretation, resentment, and repair can now go toward actually building the life you both want.

You become partners who are:

Secure in yourselves and with each other—able to show up fully without losing yourself
Clear about what you're building together and how you're going to do it
Aligned in purpose, even when your paths look different
Capable of navigating conflict without disconnection or damage

This is what we call secure functioning—and it's the foundation of everything else.

I don't coach couples by teaching you communication techniques or making you feel like you're broken and need fixing.

I coach couples by helping you design a partnership that actually supports who you are and who you're becoming.

Together, we:

1. Surface what's actually happening beneath the surface
The patterns keeping you stuck. The invisible agreements you've been operating on. The places where you're triggering each other's protective strategies instead of connecting to each other's hearts.

2. Get clear on what you're actually building
Not what your parents modeled. Not what Instagram shows you. What you actually want your partnership to be—individually and together.

3. Create explicit Relationship Agreements
Not rigid rules, but living agreements that give you clarity, security, and freedom. Agreements about how you navigate conflict, make decisions, hold space for individual growth, repair after rupture, and lead together through life's complexity.

4. Build the capacity to keep choosing each other
Not just in the easy moments, but in the hard ones. When you're triggered. When you're scared. When growth means temporarily moving in different directions. When the old pattern shows up and tries to take over.

This isn't therapy. This is partnership architecture—building a container strong enough to hold both deep love and your fullest potential.

In our work together, we typically meet [frequency] over [timeframe]. In early sessions, we focus on understanding your current patterns and surfacing the invisible agreements already running your relationship. From there, we co-create explicit agreements that give you the clarity and security you've been missing. Between sessions, you'll practice implementing these agreements in real time—and we'll use our time together to refine, repair, and deepen what's working.

This work is for COUPLES who:

Are tired of repeating the same conflicts and ready to actually learn how to repair
Know something isn't working but can't name what it is
Want more than "fine"—you want alive, aligned, and secure
Are in a growth phase or transition and need your relationship to evolve with you
Are both high-capacity people whose partnership should match your potential
Are engaged and want to set your marriage up for real success

This work is for SINGLES who:

Keep attracting the same type of partner or repeating the same relationship patterns
Are tired of performing or editing yourself to be more "likeable" or "dateable"
Want to enter your next relationship with clarity about what you actually need and want (not just what sounds good)
Are done with the anxious-avoidant dance and ready for a relationship that is "secure functioning"
Are unwilling to settle for anything less than an extraordinary partnership at this point

Will and I don't just teach relationship agreements—we live them.

Our 24 agreements are our wedding vows. They're what we return to when we're triggered, confused, or out of alignment. They're what allow us to work together, create together, and grow together without losing ourselves or each other.

And they're not theoretical frameworks we learned in a certification program. They came from our own journey of building a conscious partnership—and from my 20+ years of coaching leaders and couples through the messiest, most human parts of growth.

When you work with me, you're not getting someone who believes relationships should look a certain way. You're getting someone who knows that your relationship is the one you get to design—and who has the tools to help you actually do it.

Relationship Coaching

You Keep Having the Same Fight.
And You're Both Right.

What You're Actually Fighting About

Why Relationship Agreements
Change Everything

This Is About More Than Your Relationship

How We Work Together

Who This Is For

We had glimpses of what we were here to do in the world, but it wasn't until we worked with you guys that it became super clear. Two years later we are actually living the vision we saw & we're putting everything into it!" - AD & LD

"A weight is lifted now of the obstacles that were in the way of creating our dream visions together. We have the tools & the support we need & I feel for the first time in a long time WE GOT THIS!" - MR

"It was one of the most powerful experiences I’ve ever had in my life & I’m so glad we got to share it together & frame it around our relationship" - RR

What Makes This Different

Create a Relationship That Makes Everything Else Possible