The one where you should say what you actually think—give the feedback, name the problem, stand for the direction you know is right—but instead, you adjust. Just slightly. You soften it, reframe it, manage how it might land.
It's not dramatic. It's subtle. But it's enough.
Enough that you walk away feeling like you abandoned yourself. Enough that your confidence erodes, meeting after meeting. Enough that the things you wish you had the leadership to address directly get dismissed, excused away, tolerated—because dealing with them feels too risky, too confrontational, too likely to backfire.
You're exhausted from managing everyone else's experience just to keep them doing what they're supposed to be doing. You've tried being more assertive—but it didn't feel like "you," or you didn't get the outcomes you wanted. You've read the leadership books, taken the communication courses, practiced "leaning in" and "finding your voice." You over-prepare. You obsess over your tone. You have the hard conversations in your head, over and over, but never out loud.
A part of you blames the system: the culture that rewards some people for being direct and punishes others for the same thing. The impossible contradiction of being confident but not intimidating, assertive but not aggressive, caring but not soft.
But another part blames yourself. I should be better at this. I'm too accommodating. Or I'm too bossy. If I were only more...
None of that is where the real solution lives.
You don't have a confidence problem. We live in a world where leadership is often shaped by disconnection, misalignment, and control rather than presence, integrity, and relationship.
Most of us were never taught how to lead in a way that's powerful and relational—direct and caring at the same time. So we usually default to one of two modes: accommodation (to preserve connection) or assertion (which often feels disconnected).
Neither works. Accommodation undermines authority. Forced assertion feels inauthentic and often backfires.
What you actually need is relational leadership: the ability to be honest, direct, and clear while staying in connection—to give feedback that strengthens relationships instead of damaging them, to set real boundaries without burning bridges, to lead from your truth without managing everyone's emotional experience.
This is learnable. But not from books. Not from communication frameworks. And not by trying harder to "be confident."
You learn it in relationship—by practicing it in real time, with real feedback, in the actual situations where you keep abandoning
I work with women leaders and emerging leaders who are done accommodating their way to influence—and ready to learn how to lead as themselves, with clarity and integrity.
This isn't about copying a style of leadership. It's not about "executive presence" performance or replicating the control-and-demand model you've seen in male-dominated spaces.
It's about embodying your own relational leadership—learning to:
Show up authentically in high-stakes relationships (with your boss, your peers, the people you manage) without contorting, over-explaining, or performing
"I stopped 'performing' leadership and started inhabiting it. I now am able to speak with more clarity and presence—not to prove something, but because I know who I am. The ripple effects on those I work with is tangible."
— Natalie
1. You're not learning theory—you're practicing in real situations.
We work on the actual relationships and moments where you keep abandoning yourself. Your difficult boss. The colleague who undermines you. The direct report who isn't stepping up. The conversation you keep rehearsing but never having.
You don't get a framework and hope it works. You practice in the work, with real-time feedback, so you learn what it actually feels like to lead from integrity.
2. You get feedback you can't see on your own.
The gap between how you intend to show up and how you're being experienced is invisible to you. I help you see it—not to make you wrong, but to give you access to the leadership that's already in you, freed from the accommodating patterns you can't see.
3. This is relational leadership, not performance.
You're not learning to perform authority. You're learning to embody it—so your voice, your boundaries, your vision land cleanly, without the exhausting labor of managing how others perceive you.
"Krista impeccably supports her clients to make the bold changes, both internally and externally, that are required for growth and she does so with grace, with grit and so much care. Anybody fortunate enough to receive the gifts of Krista's heart and mind will be transformed for the better."
- Private Client
"Nothing has given me clearer visibility into my relational patterns. I can actually witness my old strategies—like hiding or shrinking—in real time. That awareness is what’s allowing me to choose differently and lead with more agency, sovereignty, and self-trust."
- Private Client
This work teaches you how to show up in these moments as yourself—with clarity, boundaries, and the relational skill to influence change without betraying what you know to be true.
This coaching is NOT for you if:
This work is relational. It's not about becoming tougher or louder. It's about becoming more yourself—so your voice, your boundaries, your vision, and your influence land cleanly, without contortion.
This is 1:1 coaching built on the same relational foundations as my leadership trainings and The Art of We partnership coaching—but tailored specifically to the relationships that shape your work and leadership.
We focus on real situations, real relationships, real patterns. You learn to lead in relationship—with clarity, authenticity, and sustainable impact.
Request a discovery call and let's explore what's possible for the kind of leadership you want to embody and model.
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